Snapchat Will Not Be the Death of Me! 7 Lessons to Teach Responsibility
3/26/2018
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I have a streak going…four straight years of dealing with students on Snapchat as an administrator. From the beginning speech the teachers and I give to parents and students, it is inevitable that the lure of Snapchat will grab most any kid with a smart phone and teach a lesson (to students, to parents, and always to us!). We obviously cannot stop Snapchat from being an attractive communication tool for kids, but we can and should teach how they can use it responsibly.
When I talk to parents about how the social media application works, many seem amazed of its capabilities, as well as all the information that is difficult to monitor. There is a wide range of supervision and monitoring levels from parents…all ends of the spectrum…from no monitoring, to going through every application and picture on their phone. Finding a good balance, what you can manage as a parent, is key to your child's and your mental health.
Snapchat causes many headaches for several reasons and those reasons make it more enticing for a kid's usage. Different from the ability to go back and read the wall of a Facebook user, Snapchat's communication is organized by picture messages that go away after a small amount of time, as well as chat groups. This is the main reason why it has caused so many headaches for educators or parents who are trying to investigate a situation. The evidence is erased in most cases that are investigated. Some students and parents do take screenshots. When they do, teachers and administrators can investigate hold people accountable much more effectively.
What many students do not realize is that even though they are using Snapchat outside of school, if the social implications from the posts affect the school day, educators and administrators can do something about it. Bullying behavior is rampant in this social media application. For example, when someone makes fun of another student on Snapchat at night, then the discussion usually comes to school disrupting the learning environment. As educators, we must do something about it.
Here are seven lessons we can teach our students to be responsible when using Snapchat.
1 - Parents Support a Student's Positive Communication on Snapchat, as Negative Communication Leads to Loss of Privileges.
Inevitably, most parents or guardians pay their child's cell phone bill. It is a great communication tool for us to be able to get a hold of our children at almost any time. It can also be a nightmare if not monitored. A good rule to set with your child is to let them know you are going to be checking in on their communication, as well as their friends. Some kids may argue that this is an invasion of their privacy, but a good a parent will let them know..."This for your safety, and I am in charge of your safety until you leave this house."
Random checks of all the social media applications seem to work best. In this fashion, the student never knows when you are going to check and if they want to be able to keep their phone, they will do so. Many students have to teach their parents how each application works. Do not be afraid to let your son or daughter know that in order to keep their phone, you must teach us (the parents/guardians) how to use the application. By doing this, you will learn all the ins and outs of the application, like Snapchat.
Be careful and cognizant that they are showing you the correct account. Unfortunately, many students have multiple accounts…one to show their parents, and one they may have hidden. This takes some investigating…look for the latest communication in Snapchat, as well as for the longest "streaks." Students like competition and Snapchat has a built in counter for the number of times consecutively that they communicate with peers. This is called a "streak." To learn more, go to number four below.
Students should understand that parents are also monitoring how other students communicate with them. Unfortunately, there are students whose parents do not monitor them on social media. The students with less monitoring may be a source of inappropriate material. See question six below for more on this.
2 - We Don't Break up or Confront Someone on an Issue on Snapchat.
A good rule of thumb for supporting positive communication with your child is that there are conversations that need to occur in person, and not on social media. "Drama," as students put it, can start when a dating couple announces to the world they are together, as well as when they break up. When it is done on social media, comments are made, and students tend to take sides. This can lead to name calling, bullying behavior, and even harassment and death threats quickly. If you allow dating, make sure your son or daughter breaks up or starts a relationship face to face. These important decisions and conversations need to happen in the presence of each other.
We must teach that communication is also with body language: our eyes, tone of voice, and more. It is important we teach this to our sons and daughters. Vice versa, breaking up with someone on social media leaves a lot unsaid. The words on the post can be misinterpreted, misconstrued, or downright damaging to a young male or female.
It may seem easier to shoot a "Snap" over to a boyfriend or girlfriend ending a relationship. This can be insurmountable for some students who do not have any way or anyone to process this information. Likewise, we need to make sure students are not "calling out" other students on social media inciting a verbal spat. These words can be destructive to both parties.
When politics, religion, sexual orientation, or other topics that are controversial, negative and damaging words can be used. We must teach it is okay to have an opinion on social media, but to "call someone out" or to incite an argument and verbal fight is not an effective way to cause change. We must continue to teach that talking with the person face-to-face is the most effective way to "go to solution." Parents must be modeling language with their children, as this will help when they have to do this in person on their own.
3 - Group Chats Can Be Fun, and Also Destructive.
Your son or daughter may be invited into a group chat with many other students. This may be a great way to communicate back and forth with a multitude of people. It can also be breeding grounds for bully behavior and sexual harassment. Students within the chat group know that the information is going to be erased automatically by the application. Students tend to say things they do not necessarily mean, nor would they say face-to-face with someone. When harassment or bully behavior occurs, teach your student to report or take a screen shot of the information immediately.
When we report, we keep someone or ourselves safe. See question number five below. When we tattle, we are trying to get someone in trouble. We must teach these two differences. Unfortunately, many students chose to not report what they see it. They may exit the group or turn off the notifications. When an incident is reported and it is brought to your attention, your son or daughter should be able to tell you who is part of the group, who was commenting, who has read the Snaps but did not respond.
Investigators find group chats difficult to consequence as students are invited in at any point, and they may leave at any point. Over the last four years, a typical answer has been, "I exited the group before I saw anything." We must create a trust between our children that in order to continue to have a phone, they must communicate with us.
4 - "Streaks" Can Be Positive and Negative.
A Snapchat Streak is one where two or more kids have communicated with each other for a specific number of consecutive days. Snapchat built in this counter to play into a human beings natural instinct for competition. No one wants something to end. If the number is bigger than other peoples' "streaks," than that has a social implication. This is similar to the "Like" component of Facebook.
A positive for this component of Snapchat is that a streak may be maintained between two healthy people for the purpose of positive communication. This can turn negative when competition and the need to keep the streak alive outweighs other responsibilities. There are students who are willing to do about anything to keep their streak alive with another student. We must teach our students what healthy and positive communication look like and sound like, as well as how to avoid negative communication.
5 - We Must Report Any Incidents Where Health or Safety Are Issues.
At school, behaviors can be seen and heard by staff members and students. On social media, the behaviors become more elusive. As more social media applications come out that focus on secrecy, the plethora of behaviors, positive and negative, grow. We must teach our students that reporting is different from tattling, and that reporting is keeping someone safe. We all have to make safety a priority. Unfortunately, there are predators (adult and juvenile), that pray on younger students. They find their way into social media to harass, or even try to start an inappropriate relationship. Even scarier is the increase in child (Human) trafficking and the connection to social media.
We must teach our children how to avoid these types of communications, as well as reporting it to another adult. Many students do not report because they are scared, embarrassed, ashamed, or do not want to take the time to report it to an adult.
6 - Pictures Must Always Be Appropriate.
Snapchat consists of words and pictures. This can be a fun positive way to interact with friends. It connects visual emotions to words, and can be very informative. In the same tone, inappropriate pictures may become viral or used for years to come. Pictures can be sent to an enormous amount of people and can be damaging and hurtful. They can even be illegal.
Many students do not understand that pictures they take of themselves nude can be classified as child pornography and are illegal. If they are sent around from student to student, child pornography or other charges can accumulate. We must teach our students about the future impact of inappropriate pictures. We must monitor our students' pictures that are taken, as well as the pictures they receive.
7 - We Must Be Kind, Show Tolerance, and Have Empathy When Using Snapchat.
Lastly, we must teach our students to always be kind, show tolerance to others, as well as encouraging empathy for other student's situations. "Choose Kind" is a good theme or mantra to communicate with your child. Though they may want to say something derogatory on a Snap, teach them the golden rule, "Do unto others as you want done to you," or "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
The lure of private conversations, where anything can be said, is enticing to students. They may open up to a peer (or an adult in appropriately) and say something that should not be shared outside of the Snap or the chat group. Unfortunately, knowledge is power for some students and they may repeat or start rumors about the student. This is where adults must step in and support students. We must model how to be kind. We must teach them about tolerance and we must teach them to put themselves in other people's shoes. By doing so, we will have children that the see the world as a place to make positive and productive relationships.
Snapchat will not be the death of me!
As a 5th grade teacher, in 2010 Jon won the Presidential Award for Elementary Math and Science Teaching (PAEMST). As a principal, his school won the 2012 Blue Ribbon Award. In 2018, he won the National Distinguished Principal Award (NDP). In 2019 he won the National No Kid Hungry Breakfast Hero Award.
Jon is the author of three guides published on teacher.org: An Educator's Guide to Combat Bullying & Bully Prevention; Teacher Evaluation: A Transition Guide to Exemplary Performance; and You are the Wild Card: Infusing Fun Back into Curriculum. He has authored a children's picture book that was released January 2019 titled Benjamin’s Visit to Principal Reads Office…again! (available at www.archwaypublishing.com)
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